Child birth. It was the most drastic and rapid personality transformation I have ever seen. She went from a tough, no one is gonna mess with me attitude to a drool covered, diaper changing, baby loving mom. Life was perfect I thought. Not. One day she comes home and says, I don't feel complete. No sweat I said, take a pottery course. "No, I need more", she says.
So back at it we went but it wasn't working this time. We tried everything, standing on our heads, jumping up and down, wearing boxers instead of briefs, cutting out alcohol, coffee and stress. None of it worked and lead to more stress and the need to drink more alcohol and coffee.
The last straw was when I had to put a sample in a jar, put it in my shirt pocket to keep
it warm and rush it to the lab for testing where I waited in line for 20 minutes to see the receptionist. Once I reached the front of the line I passed the receptionist my requisition form and was about to reach into my pocket for the jar when the receptionist says (in a loud voice that boomed throughout the crowded waiting room) "sir, do you have your sperm sample"? I broke into a cold sweat and thought I was going to faint. I didn't think life could get any worse. I was wrong. Two days later the lab phoned to say they had lost my sample and could I bring another over right away.
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