I remember tomorrow like it was yesterday

Sorry about that, I had a rough night next Tuesday.

Cheers Tony

My father inlaw, Tony Iwanow passed away last week after a fabulous 81 year adventure. You couldn't have asked for a better husband, father, grandffather or friend.

At the memorial service I was thinking that he was probably up there looking down on us feeling thankful for all of the family and friends that had gathered to celebrate his life, but more importantly I thought he was probably looking down at the casket and thinking..... What a waste of money. He probably had some old used plywood, rusty hinges and handles in his back yard that he could have made a perfectly good box with. He was a master of collecting and recycling.

I'm gonna miss him alot.

I'm gonna miss the family get togethers where I'd have a few beers with him and he'd tell me the same stories about the old days over and over again, totally oblivious to the fact that I could mouth the words along with him cause he had told me the stories so many times.

I'm gonna miss his incredible sense of fashion. He had a real flair for mixing and matching pieces of wardrobe. He would wear a grease stained baseball hat with an old frayed leisure suit, a loud shirt with a mismatching tie, running shoes and he'd top it all off by slinging his wife Lidia's purse over his shoulder. He had his own SPECIAL style.

I'm gonna miss his values. Tony didn't care about stuff, he cared about people and I learned alot from him about that.

I think the greatest gift you can give is the gift of life and I'd like to thank Tony and Lidia for two of the greatest gifts I have received in my life, my wife Vera and her brother (my best friend) Al.

Tony would want us to know that he is at peace and in a good place.

To Tony I would like to say, it's an honour to be your son inlaw, I love you and I miss you.

CHEERS

Success is Not Logical

By their sixtyfifth birthday, 93 percent of people are either dead or dead broke. Fewer men are worth $100 at age 68 than at age 18.

Success is not logical. Logical is the opinion of the majority. If you think illogically and disagree with 93 percent of the people you meet, you are probably on the road to success.

If you can't sell it, wipe with it

I own 80,000 shares of a stock that is now basically worthless. I figure they are worth less than toilet paper and I might as well start wiping with it. If I get one piece of paper for each of my 80,000 shares and wipe twice a day, 365 days a year, I won't have to buy toilet paper for 109 years. That means I will have some left over to leave for my kids when I die and every time they wipe they can think of me.

The money was gone.

I had purposefully not opened my quarterly financial statements for about 9 months cause I knew it wouldn't be pretty and I figured, if I didn't know exactly how bad it was, I could fantasize that maybe my financial adviser was a genius and had sheltered me from the pain. NOT. The money was gone.

After spending a couple of days wallowing in self pity and focusing on the fact that I was now on the Freedom 95 Program, I decided I needed a diversion. When I got home I said to the kids, let's have a family night and play a board game and I sent the little guy down stairs to pick whatever game he wanted to play. He brought up Monopoly. I asked him to set up the game and I left the room for a few minutes. As I came back into the room I called the rest of the family to come and play. As we gathered around the table I noticed there was one component of the game missing. The money was gone.

Live Longer and Die of Boredom

Careful what you eat, don't drink, don't smoke, don't swear, say no to drugs and go to bed early.

Live Longer and Die of Boredom.

I could tell that she wanted me by the way she ignored me

Years ago I ended up at a friends apartment one night and spent the night drinking, playing guitar and singing, totally oblivious to the fact that there were a couple of girls sleeping in one of the bedrooms. In the morning, I'm hung over, lying face down on a mattress on the living room floor and I hear a girl in the kitchen. With my face still buried in the mattress I say ..... If you're making coffee I'll have one. I could tell that she wanted me by the way she ignored me. Finally I peel my face off the mattress and I see a beautiful sight. A hot looking girl sitting at the kitchen table, drinking beer for breakfast.

I never did get the coffee but I did get the girl. She' s cut down on the beer for breakfast.

There is no Wizard, the Wizard is you

The lion wanted courage, the tin man a heart, the scarecrow a brain and Dorothy just wanted to go home. They expended alot of time and energy trying to find the Wizard that could give them what they wanted only to find out that there was no Wizard and that what they wanted had been in their possession all along.

There is no genie or magic pill that can change your life. If you want your world to change, you must change.

There is no Wizard, the Wizard is you.

Apparently my wife has something to do with it.

I always thought that food grew in the oven and that the oven buzzer went off when the food was ripe, hot and ready to be served. I thought the dirty laundry bin in the closet was the machine that washed, dryed and folded the clean clothes and put them on my dresser. I thought the kids finger and toe nails didn't start growing and didn't need to be clipped until they were old enough to live on their own. I thought the summer camp organizations contacted my kids directly and organized their summer schedules for them. I thought that toilet paper regenerated on the roll after you used the last piece and the toilet lid lowered itself when you left the room.

I found out recently I was wrong about all of that. Apparently my wife has something to do with it. The one thing she doesn't do is clean the house. We hire someone elses mom to do that.

Go Lights

In the Bahamas they call traffic lights, Go lights instead of Stop lights. They did this to lessen the uproar from the locals when lights were installed in areas that never had traffic lights. Interesting how changing one word in a phrase can totally change you perception of it. Is the cup half empty or half full? It's all in your perception. Do you look for the positive or the negative in things? Whichever you look for, you will find.

Smile the next time you approach a Go light that is red.

From Rock to Reality

Back in the 1980's I was in a rock band that put out a couple of CD's. If we hadn't been so unpopular I think we could have been huge.

Our 1st CD was called, Just in time to be late (the name set the tone for how well we weren't going to do). We were going to call the 2nd CD, Only to be remembered by how quickly they were forgotten but the record company felt this would only hasten the arrival of the CD at it's ultimate and final resting place (the delete/discount bin at records stores).

The music industry measures sales success in terms of Gold and Platinum. They created a new category for us. They called it Sponge. I'm proud to say we achieved Double Sponge status.

Our initial pressing of 10 CD's sold quickly and propelled us to Single Sponge status but it would be many more months until my mom gave away the 1st 10 CD's and bought the next pressing of 10 to give away. Once all of her friends and family had copies of the CD, sales stalled.

It was during this period that I met the woman of my dreams that would one day become my wife. Not long after, my life went From Rock to Reality.

Harmony Through Obedience

We are going on holidays and my wife says, take the kids to the doctor and get them prescriptions for ailments they might get while we are away. I say, are you nuts, the doctor is going to think I'm crazy, he can't prescribe medicine for something they don't have. She gives me THAT LOOK and I pack up the kids and take them to the doctor. I tell the doctor why I'm there and he gives me THAT LOOK and I pack up the kids and take them home without a prescription.

My buddy John has a phrase for what I do, Harmony Through Obedience.

Woman are care givers and Men are care needers

Women are care givers and men are care needers. Givers need needers and needers need givers. We fill a void in each others lives. In all other areas of life, giving to the needy is a common and noble practice. Why doesn't this apply to husbands?

Why do husbands have to take so much abuse just because we were born ineffective, lazy, thoughtless and needy. Would you berate your child for being born short or left handed? GIVE TO THE NEEDY.