Apparently my wife has something to do with it.

I always thought that food grew in the oven and that the oven buzzer went off when the food was ripe, hot and ready to be served. I thought the dirty laundry bin in the closet was the machine that washed, dryed and folded the clean clothes and put them on my dresser. I thought the kids finger and toe nails didn't start growing and didn't need to be clipped until they were old enough to live on their own. I thought the summer camp organizations contacted my kids directly and organized their summer schedules for them. I thought that toilet paper regenerated on the roll after you used the last piece and the toilet lid lowered itself when you left the room.

I found out recently I was wrong about all of that. Apparently my wife has something to do with it. The one thing she doesn't do is clean the house. We hire someone elses mom to do that.