I could tell that she wanted me by the way she ignored me

Years ago I ended up at a friends apartment one night and spent the night drinking, playing guitar and singing, totally oblivious to the fact that there were a couple of girls sleeping in one of the bedrooms. In the morning, I'm hung over, lying face down on a mattress on the living room floor and I hear a girl in the kitchen. With my face still buried in the mattress I say ..... If you're making coffee I'll have one. I could tell that she wanted me by the way she ignored me. Finally I peel my face off the mattress and I see a beautiful sight. A hot looking girl sitting at the kitchen table, drinking beer for breakfast.

I never did get the coffee but I did get the girl. She' s cut down on the beer for breakfast.

There is no Wizard, the Wizard is you

The lion wanted courage, the tin man a heart, the scarecrow a brain and Dorothy just wanted to go home. They expended alot of time and energy trying to find the Wizard that could give them what they wanted only to find out that there was no Wizard and that what they wanted had been in their possession all along.

There is no genie or magic pill that can change your life. If you want your world to change, you must change.

There is no Wizard, the Wizard is you.

Apparently my wife has something to do with it.

I always thought that food grew in the oven and that the oven buzzer went off when the food was ripe, hot and ready to be served. I thought the dirty laundry bin in the closet was the machine that washed, dryed and folded the clean clothes and put them on my dresser. I thought the kids finger and toe nails didn't start growing and didn't need to be clipped until they were old enough to live on their own. I thought the summer camp organizations contacted my kids directly and organized their summer schedules for them. I thought that toilet paper regenerated on the roll after you used the last piece and the toilet lid lowered itself when you left the room.

I found out recently I was wrong about all of that. Apparently my wife has something to do with it. The one thing she doesn't do is clean the house. We hire someone elses mom to do that.